Agle janam mohe bitiya na dijo!

Aayi thi mere ghar ek nanhi pari

Bhaiyon ke beech wah ek akeli

Najon se pala, palkon par rakh kar

Beti meri, sabse pare sabse upar

Uttam siksha, sikshit vichar

Banaya usko maine avikar

Byah kar toh woh chali gayi

Par beti meri wah ab bhi thi

Samay ne bhi apni chaal chali

Main akela aur umar bhi ho chali

Beton se rooth, mann ko maar

Maine haanth badhaya apni lado ki aor

Thama usne mujhe, main abhari tha

Par anjaan tha ki yah karz bahut bhari tha

Jaise hi lachari ne jakda, main khatka usko

Ruksat kiya us bebasi mein bhi usne mujhko

Aankhen naam thi, mann pareshaan

Kya yahi thi meri dulari, mera abhimaan

Anjaano ke beech, asahaye, usne choda mujhe

Jee ke bhi main kya karta, ek bojh ke jaise

Abhaav hota toh mera dil na itna dukhta

Beton se pyaari meri beti na hoti toh main zikr hi na karta

Par jo hua so hua, bas na mera tha isme

Na sukun hai rooh mein ab, na takat hai mujh mein

Main chalta hoon, bas dua karta hoon rab kabool lijo

Agle janam mujhe aisi bitiya na dijo!

I really don't know this Woman!!

I know a man who is all about I, me, myself.

I know a man who keep grudges against the dead, the helpless and the needy.

I know a man who disrespects a widow because “he (falsely) believes” that no one will ever know.

I know a man who still lives in 1980s and fails to understand power of networking of this social age.

I know a man who is Richie Rich but doesn’t spend enough money to raise his standard of living because “so-called” luxury (of old times, read necessities of today) is unnecessary and a waste.

I know a man for whom every act of kindness is a trap, a game because for him, humanity is theory.

I know a man who doesn’t believe anyone because he is himself covered in lies and misconducts.

I know a man who overlooks all good done and logs the tiniest mistakes of all for future but expects everyone to do the exact opposite in his regard.

I know a man who commands utmost respect and obedience from all at all times but never returns them, not even in the minutest capacity and repeatedly belittles them for their flaws.

I know a man who blames others for his mistakes and failures because he believes, he can never go wrong.

I know a man who harasses people if they don’t obey his orders exactly as he wants.

I know a man for whom a family which considers opinion of all is foolish as it opens multiple possibilities of action.

I know a man who doesn’t shy to command his relatives to get his job done but has a huge problem sharing good food with them.

I know a man who chooses to have the last laugh by rejecting to help his family in the hour of need.

I know a man who happily fills his stomach while his family awaits him in hunger.

I know a man who hits his wife, mother and sister and gets disgusted with the woman who raises her voice against this.

I know a man who fears and discourages any importance given to his wife because he wants control, no voice.

I know a man for whom caring for or helping your spouse is equivalent to being their servant.

I know a man who takes pleasure in everything his disobedient child does and loathes the obedient child for his slightest disobedience.

I know a man who doesn’t speak to his newly wed in law for over a month because she couldn’t match the capability of work he expected.

I know a man who made his son not talk to his wife while on a long foreign trip to teach her a lesson.

I know a man who makes an old person with arthritis climb stairs till 18th floor and back.

I know a man who gets extremely offended with a person who chooses to rest over a planned road trip because of a 101 degree fever.

I know this MAN who is unjust, unrealistic and an eccentric egoistic maniac

BUT

I really don’t know this highly educated WOMAN who supports every act of him, fancifully feeds his ego and is ever ready to sacrifice anything to satiate this hungry man.

Tamanna Thinks Again!

Brooding, I look outside the window. A city that never sleeps - lighted streets and moving cars, felt familiar, only, in the grace of silence. I wanted to be exactly here, except, in a different circumstance. That's the beauty of life, when one wishes something, one only considers what is in their capacity to conquer it and one tends to assume that the rest would just play along however, that's not always true. So, here I am, Tamanna, absolutely clueless and muddled.

It amuses me to wonder how on earth could I not perceive the solid probability of happenings of unexpected despite of considering self a Maths genius. Easy answer is, end of life happens just once every lifetime and therefore, is considered an unlikely event on a day to day basis. Correct answer is, Life is usually taken for granted. A mistake which has messed up my calculations to an extent that I am lost, I want to re-calculate yet I have no clue how to get back to the point where it started to go all wrong. And then comes yet another logic of life, you can't turn the clock .. you just can't. So, the point to introspect is, is recalculation possible? No and yes. A fresh start. It's indeed difficult to move on, to convince oneself for a fresh beginning. The guilt of letting go of a beautiful past is killing yet is much needed to orient your being in the future. What pushes you in a vicious black hole is the constant reminder that this struggle is not just a one time thing. Still looking for a light of logical reasoning to fight back.

Do I really believe I have nothing to cherish? No, I am blessed with a good soul, an intellect mind, a pure heart, talented hands and a strong stand. Do you know what I lost? The confidence. The fear of the consequences baring my potential. Constant failures demotivating my objective. Unusual losses culturing my inferiority. I can't change what has already happened neither can I control what is about to happen thus, crippled in my present, repenting the bygones and apprehending forthcoming. Easy way out is to put a full-stop. Correct way is to pave a path. What pushes you towards oblivion questioning the efforts to gather the mental strength to make your way is the loud voices constantly reminding you of what you lack, directly or indirectly. Still looking for a sound of inspiration to head ahead.

I see the darkness fading away, I see a new day! Just like marriage, a sense of commence. All these years, aimed to be "Happily Married Ever After", I worked to be a perfect in-law thus a perfect wife. Well, considering arranged marriage, that's the truth, being a good in-law is the only way to be a good wife. With being bantered by friends, being praised by relatives and acquaintances, easier way was to believe I could and would definitely nail it. Correct way would have been to weigh the proverb as old wise words always comes from experience. Human nature is unpredictable and so becomes the nature of relations with unknows. What pushes you towards reality is their continual doubts on your authenticity of your selfless acts with complete strangers making it a hard and bitter truth that the presence of the word "in-law" is there to serve a purpose. Still looking for a touch of warmth to feel close-knit.

And the hunger pangs yet again. Of lately, food has become the ulterior motive of my Life. Yes, yet again. Yes, I am fat yet again however, I have no plans to distance myself from the major source of my happiness at this point. To the very least, I have a taste of nourishment to satiate my appetite.

The naked face of life!

Engulfed in dark

She looks up, she looks around
Fear creeps in

She screams, she shouts
With a disbelief,

She again looks up, she again looks around
A moment later

She hears her own atrocious sound

Eyes are wet

Her hands … searching

She feels the air
Yet suffocating
Heart pumps, blood runs

She is breathing

She falls on her knees
Yes, she is living!

The noise of broken her
Soaked in silence
There she lay .. half dead ..
Cocooned in loneliness

The naked face of life!

Alone you sleep, alone you rise;

Alone you come, alone you die!!

I owe it to you, my mother!

A home, a shelter

A nurse, a feeder

My mother

Happiness, a wisher

Scarcity, a giver

My mother

A cook, a housekeeper

A friend, a teacher

My mother

Hopes, a confidence booster

Falls, a protector

My mother

A judge, a counsellor

A reader, a secret keeper

My mother

Love, a forgiver

Fear, an assurer

My mother

An ideal, a lie detector

A telepathy, an observer

My mother

Warmth, a kisser

Mistake, a hitter

My mother

An inspiration, an aspirer

A blesser, a mirror

My mother

Your desire, your mould

Your pride, your soul

Your daughters!

No matter where I go, what I be ..

You shall be my god, my maker ..

I owe my happiness, my individuality ..

My morals, my existence, my life to you my mother!

Haan, zindagi khoobsurat hai!

Saadiyon lambi intezar ke baad,

Yeh lamha tere saath,

Haan, zindagi khoobsurat hai ..

Subah yun tera aaine mein jhankna,

Laton ko yun kaan ke peeche sawarna,

Choode mein jade apne naam ko niharna,

Haan, zindagi khoobsurat hai ..

Woh meethi nok jhok,

Aur bachon si sharartein,

Haq se ki apni mann mani,

Haan, zindagi khoobsurat hai ..

Teri baahon mein sir rakh chanda mama ki jalak,

Tere haanthon ko pakad un raahon ki sair,

Tere kadmon sang samudr ke rait par mere pairon ke nishaan,

Haan, zindagi khoobsurat hai ..

Woh nigahon ki shikayatein,

Unse judi apnepan ka ehsaas,

Madhe madhe usmein panapta pyaar aur vishwaas,

Haan, zindagi khoobsurat hai ..

Tera naam, teri pehchaan ..

Tere rishte aur unse judne ka saubhagya,

Nahi, sab aasan nahi ..

Par haan, tere sang guzra har lamha kehta hai .. Zindangi sachmuch behad khoobsurat hai!

Koi ...

Rah chalte chalte yun hi

Haanth thamta koi

Barish ki andher galiyon mein

Rasta dikhata koi

Mushkil paristhitiyon par yun hi

Muskurata koi

Hosla dilane ki aadh mein pyaar se

Maatha choomta koi

Ladte jhagadte yun hi

Gudgudata koi

Aur phir haste haste achanak

Gale lagata koi

Goonjti sannate mein yun hi

Kisi ki khikhilahat

Aapni maasoomiyat se is dil ko

Choo jaata koi

Nighaahon mein dikhe yun hi

Kisi ki shararat

Un choti choti harkaton se

Mann lubhata koi

Rahat dilaye yun hi

Jab kisi ki aahat

Phir dil chaahe kyun na ki

Saath nibhata koi

Unkahi shabdon ko yun hi

Isharon mein samjhata koi

Bin kahe bin sharton ke

Bas apna ban jata koi!