Dil Chahta Hai

He was staring outside the window and was smiling… smiling at the nature’s beauty, the magnificence he admires the most. I felt happiness within, seeing him so happy and satisfied. I looked at the dozens of red bangles in my hand making sweet noise when moved and the prominent blackish red mehandi, whose fragrance was felt all over the compartment of the train… the train which took me to my in laws… to my house… to my family.

I looked at the red sari that made me feel even more shy and happy too. The heaviness of the black beaded necklace and the red religious powder was the thing I enjoyed the most… Finally I am his… Mrs. Vidhi Seksaria… Mrs. Vidhi Kshand Seksaria…

Trying to get into his colors, I looked outside the window too. ‘I like copying him’! With my legs folded and my head leaning against the window, I stared outside, when all my past memories poured into the empty yet thirsty glass of thoughts. I know its intoxicating but the pleasure is beyond limits.

I remembered the times before he came into my life… the times when I used to crave for meeting my prince… my ‘shehzada’… I gave a small laugh at the stupid thing I used to say… “Mera pati aisa hoga… mera pati waisa hoga” and the way people used to laugh at me. I can’t forget the crazy things I used to talk to god about… crazy things I did in my life.

I still could tell the feel of loneliness I felt at the times when I really wanted someone to sit beside me… someone to listen me peacefully and to console me… The feel of aloneness at the times when I was so happy that I wanted to hug someone… someone whom I could give my entire life to… someone whom I trusted more than myself.

The feel of solitude was the strongest when I used to walk alone at the shore, looking at my footprints which said they need a partner as every other had someone along. The feel of despair, when everyone had some special ones… someone besides whom they needed no one else in their life. The feel of jealousy, when I had no one to go to and express myself, without a second thought.

I smiled at my stupidity… ‘One for me and my husband’ ‘one for my family’ ‘and the last for his family’ and I used to wave my hand three times over the holy fire in the temple… I was on 9th cloud, when suddenly he came and buried his head in my laps… I curled my hands around his neck… “Now I think I got a child to care… (A big blushing smile)” He turned upside down and said “Yeah… a child who will sooner or longer make you a mother” and he stared into my eyes which couldn’t bear the glare and went down… I went speechless…